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Lament isn’t a substitute for a therapist, especially if the anger is tied to abuse or trauma. Both together is good. If you need immediate support, call or text 988.
If you grew up in a high-control religious system, you probably heard some version of this: don’t be angry, don’t complain, don’t be the one making trouble. Count your blessings. Keep sweet.
But what if God invites us to be honest about our raw, authentic emotional experience?
If the Psalms are any guide, that is exactly what God does.
In fact, the psalms are full of people yelling at God—How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? There are psalms that ask God to wake up. There are psalms you would probably never read aloud in church (though perhaps we should). There are psalms that ask God to punish people’s enemies.
This kind of prayer is called a lament. And far too few of us are comfortable praying that way.
So I made a practice guide. It’s called How Long? It includes psalms you can borrow when you can’t find your own words, as well as space to write your own—to express what you’re really feeling, to offer your full complaint. You are welcome to use this resource in your personal life or to share it with friends, small groups, or congregations.